Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Quintessential Bengali / The Khaati Bangali:

Often stereotyped by the entire nation as the ‘Intellectual geek’, a typical Bong is multi dimensional and much more than just the owner of the superior grey matter. :P

*P.S: Following points are found only in the ‘TYPICAL’ Bengali *

- You can’t ask the Bong to ‘BE A REBEL’:
A true Bong is always a Rebel from within. For us, the war of independence is still on.
A very common scenario: When the Government raises the bus fare (Maybe a slight difference of a rupee or two at max.), the Government also must be ready to pay for 5 to 6 buses the very next day as the rebellious bong will burn down the buses. The dormant revolutionary within us wakes up at the minutest spark. 

-The Concept of Single Child is missing in Bengal:
It’s been a couple of decades now that no Bengali house is entitled to a single child. By birth, each Bengali gets two bonus siblings- like it or not! You have no option but to accept them.
We have our ‘DIDI’ - Bengal’s ‘world famous’ icon of ‘Change’ and ‘the promoter of noise pollution’ while Dada is the only man who has managed to make every Bengali proud with his bare-chested act at Lords’ pavilion. (Even Aamir’s Ghajini avatar and SRK’s six pack OSO look failed to have that impact!)

-Supernatural Voice Recognition Software:
Married Bongs have a special way of addressing their better half – ‘Eije’, ‘Ogo’& ‘Shuncho’.
During their marriage, the Universe gifts them a unique voice recognition system which makes them discern their spouse’s call even in a sea of people where too many ‘OGO’s are heard at the same time. But, Bongs miraculously respond only to their ‘Ogo’ and only to their ‘shuncho’. :P Now, this is what I call SOUND hearing.

-Name says it all; not the Pet Name:
The longer the toddler takes to memorize the spelling of his name; the better is the quality of the name.
Length definitely matters.  For instance: Lopamudra. Why can’t she be called just Lopa or just Mudra? No. That’s not how a Bong thinks. They need to punch two names into one. Here are some more - Shom-Shubhro, Arka-Prabha, Deb-Aditya, Moni-Deepa! :D
Anyway, when it comes to nick names, Bongs don’t really put their thinking caps on. Our Nick names are weird- Potol, Pocha, Tia, Ria, (PAARLE KAKATUA O REKHE DEBE!) Babaan and almost every second house on the lane will feature one of these names.

-Saree : the Guilty Pleasure:
Every Bengali house is a mini ‘Trader’s Assembly’ (Humming – Gariahat er Moder Shobha..Trader’s Assembly. – Amader kono shakha neyi! :D), ‘Adi Dhakeswari Bastralaya’,‘Priyo Gopal Bishoyi Grandson’, and Kenakata’r Anondo Niketan – SriNiketan! :D
And every Durga Puja adds a brand new ‘Ikkat’, ‘Dhakai Jamdani’, ‘Toshor’, ‘Kanjivaram’, ‘Muga Silk’ and every year, mysteriously some new variety of Silk emerges out of nowhere. (Last year’s Debut Silk was Tissue Silk which is Heavier than Me!!) Yet, Bengali Ladies cannot get enough of them. :D

-PNPC: Poro Neende, Poro Chorcha!
(For the Non-Bengalis, it means Gossiping. Remember: Whoever gossips to you, will gossip about you! Ha ha. I know that’s scary !)
Like it or not, PNPC is every Bengali’s favorite past time. Degree may differ from person to person but it definitely rejuvenates the Bengali soul after a long day’s work.

-Second Homes:
‘Puri’, ‘Digha’, ‘Sunderban’, ‘Darjeeling’ and in recent years, ’Dooars’ have comforted every Bengali during their weekend outings. A typical Bengali has visited these places so many times that they even know the name of the tea stall where Pocha Kaka sings ‘Lok Geeti’ every morning.

-A simple Bengali meal attempts to alter the definition of ‘simple’:
In case you are full and your Bengali friend invites you for a quick lunch and you say, ‘keep it simple!’. I warn you to watch your words. The Bongs define ‘Simple lunch’ in a not so simple manner.
Simplest Menu:
You will be served with a plate full of rice – ‘a mini Mt.Abu carved out of rice’ surrounded by ‘bhaja’ on one side (ranges from Brinjal Fry to Bittergourd Fry!) – Dal on the other side (Sour mango Dal, if it’s summer) – Tarkari – and a separate bowl for the delicious Fish Curry! Ah! That’s not where it ends. You have curd coming your way too. (Bongs generally prefer Mishti Doi which has a very peculiar colour! :D)

-We are EXTREMISTS and have a patent EMOTION too:
Bong love is one of a kind. It is immense, blind and celestial.
Out of this immeasurable love has emerged the emotion that has no English equivalent (Perhaps Samuel Johnson, the first English lexicographer and his successors never felt this way!)- ‘Abhimaan’. It’s not about Ego neither is it being Pricey and it transcends the power of translation. 

-Bhai vs Bhai:
Mumbai defines ‘Bhai’ as the local wannabe Don or the major underworld mafia tycoons.
While for a Bengali, ‘Bhai’ is the most affectionate way of addressing almost everybody – Sweeper, Taxi Driver, Milkman , Cobbler…and the list goes on and on.

A true Bong has an emphatic sense of self respect and does not generally accept any non-sense. Most importantly, a Bengali will be the last person to ask for any favor of any sort. What attracts a Bong the most is the sense of satisfaction that you feel after achieving success at your own right.

-BUSINESS is not a Bong’s cup of Tea:
Perhaps, we lack the simple tact and diplomacy needed to run a business empire successfully and hence, we have no ‘Banerjees’ or ‘Senguptas’ like the ‘Tatas’ or  ‘Birlas’.

-Adda:  The Ultimate Breather:
Addia is defined as the local ‘round table conference’ run by the youth which exists round the year. Mind you! ‘Adda’ is not a breeding place for Eve Teasers but gives birth to Artists, Poets, Leaders and Great Debaters. It’s the mini ‘Coffee House’ where the likes of Ray, Tagore, Sunil Ganguly, Buddhodeb Bhattacharjee ,‘Didi’and ‘Dada’ make regular appearances. :D

-It’s 6 by the clock:
A Bengali is a toddler as long as he doesn’t officially turn 18. :D
The child is expected to be home and at least pretend to study before the Man of the house, i.e., the Father returns from office and the sun sets. Late night parties and Night outs are a STRICT NO! (Night Out? What is that now? NIGHT is the time when EVIL of all sorts come OUT in the open and apparently attack ONLY BENGALI KIDS! :P)

It’s not just about the language. We are undoubtedly the sweetest people you will come across in the entire world (French may give us a stiff competition, but in vain!). Even the reprimands and angry outbursts are sweet to hear as an outsider, as long as you fail to comprehend the words because in disguise of those syrupy words reside pain and temper which is not all that pleasant when you comprehend the passage. :P


-We are PROUD and we have ENOUGH REASONS TO BE SO:
The cultural lineage that we have behind us involuntarily sets us apart from the milling crowd and every Bengali is well aware of that. (Agreed, some are extra aware of that fact. :D)
With heavy weight cultural icons like Rabindranath Tagore, Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay, Kazi Nazrul Islam, Ritwik Ghatak, Bibhutibhushan Bandopadhyay, Satyajit Ray, Jamini Roy, Mrinal Sen, Aparna Sen, Gautam Ghosh and too many more, I wonder why won’t a Bong be proud?!?!?!

In case, you don’t know who they are, please google and enlighten yourself and continue to Brand us as the Intellectually Superior Specimen of Humanity! :D That certainly doesn’t hurt! 


  1. hahahaha! that was simply amazing, you have actually done something which the outer bongs also called 'Probhasi bangalis' would identify with. Well, no doubt there has been hype on how 'royally different' we are from the other language people. A distinctness that makes us unique, it wasn't a mock, but an understandable sense that we belong to this very own community. An unavoidable part of being bong is the 'EGO' i mean that seriously is stupid at times and not at all necessary(wouldn't have to give an example, look at us, we may be at war due to some misunderstandings, but at the same time hard to make amendments for the same too, nevermind i do not have any issues though!). But at the end of the day its really rejuvenating to know who you are and being the part of one of the most sweetest communities across India, must say a splendid job..... you do write amazing and i have to take notes from you, so that i can improvize in my blog!!!!!

  2. Simply amazing, Arundhati!!! hahaha... :D :P

  3. 1. Famous Hindu mathematicians, poets, and philosophers: 

Aryabhatta (Kerala), Aryabhatta (Bihar), Bhaskara (Andhra), Brahmagupta (Gujarat), Susruta (North), Panini (Punjab), Kalidas (MP), Tansen (MP), Baiju Bawra (MP), Jayadev (Orissa), Guru Nanak (Punjab), Buddha (Bihar), Mahavira (Bihar), Vatsyayana (Gujarat), Kabir (UP), Soordas (UP), Amir Khusrau (MP), Ramanuja (Tamil Nadu), Adi Shankara (Kerala), Mirabai (Rajasthan), Tulsidas (UP).


2. Famous Indian kings and emperors:

Ashoka (Bihar), Chandragupta Maurya (Bihar), Samudragupta (UP), Bimbisara (Bihar), Raja Raja Chola (Tamil), Akbar (Delhi), Krishna Deva Raya (Karnataka), Tipu Sultan (Andhra), Shivaji (Maharashtra), Kanishka (North India), Prithviraj Chauhan (Rajasthan), Vikramaditya (MP), Rani Lakshmiba of Jhansi (MP), Rajendra Chola (Tamil), Harsha (Haryana), Zamorin (Kerala), Ranjit Singh (Punjab).


3. Famous Indian battles: 

Kurukshetra (Haryana), Panipat (Haryana), Haldi Ghati (Rajasthan), Pataliputra (Bihar), Puru-Alexander (Punjab), Vijayanagar-Bahmani (Andhra-Karnataka), Ashoka-Kalinga (Orissa).


    4. Ancient Indian religious and philosophical centers:

Varanasi (UP), Tirupati (Tamil Nadu), Haridwar (Uttarakhand), Nashik (Maharashtra), Ujjain (MP), Dwarka (Gujarat), Puri (Orissa), Prayag (UP), Mathura (UP), Ayodhya (UP), Kanchipuram (Tamil Nadu), Gaya (Bihar).


    5. Classical Dances in India: 

Bharatanatyam (Tamil), Odissi (Orissa), Kuchipudi (Andhra), Manipuri (North East), Mohiniaattam (Kerala), Sattriya (Assam), Kathakali (Kerala), Kathak (UP).


    6a. Ancient UNESCO world heritage sites:

Mahabodhi (Bihar), Hampi (Karnataka), Ellora (Maharashtra), Ajanta (Maharashtra), Mahabalipuram (Tamil Nadu), Konarak (Orissa), Khajuraho (MP).

6b. Medieval UNESCO world heritage sites: 

Qutb Minar (Delhi), Taj Mahal (UP), Red Fort (Delhi).

6c. Majestic palaces and forts: 

Lake palace, Udaipur (Rajasthan), Amber Fort (Rajasthan), Gwalior Fort (MP), Hawa Mahal (Rajasthan), Jantar Mantar (Delhi, Rajasthan). 

    6c. Ancient universities and monasteries: 

Nalanda (Bihar), Taxila (Punjab/Pak), Ratnagiri (Orissa), Sanchi Stupa (MP), Vikramashila (Bihar).


    Bengalis are 15-20% of the entire population of South Asia. Yet they accomplished NOTHING until the British came and gifted them with Kolkata city and modern education.
    These Bengalis profited from British invasion when the rest of India was ruined.

All Kolkata monuments are British gifts: Victoria memorial, Howrah bridge, St. Paul’s Cathedral, Esplanade, etc. 

    Tagore, Bankim Chatterjee, Jagdish Bose – all a result of sycophancy towards the British. British sycophant Tagore wrote Jana Gana Mana only to kowtow to the British overlords. The only truly “patriotic” poem he wrote was for ANOTHER country (Bangladesh). The rest of the Bengali “freedom fighters” were only motivated by the partition of Bengal. They hadn’t raised a finger during 1857 when Mangal Pandey of Gorakhpur, UP had to lead the uprising in Kolkata.

    Bengalis were NOTHING before the British came. They merely reaped the rewards of being the first people to succumb to the British in Palasi/Plassey.

    1. Anonymous is very uneducated . He does not know that Bengal, Bengali and Bengalis did not exist in ancient times. Everything about Bengali is modern. And in the modern era famous Bengalis are all over the world. People like hi suffer from a stroke of inferiority complex when they fall in front of the Bengali. Any person who writes that Jana Gana Mana where the poet evokes the motherland-Goddess, was written for the British is more stupid than a toddler. And that Anonymous is making comments like these against a community makes him a really egotistic, nefarious wretch.

    2. This fool is surely a bihari. Coz, a bihari always finds such lame reasons to demean a bengali. This idiot has edited out all the bengali names from the segments. Someone tell this imbecile, in each and every respected field there is a prosperous bengali name. Such sicktards deserves to be fried in boiling oil or circumcised repetedly, until he dies.

  4. I think some of points are bit dated. Some may have been true in 70s, 80s even, but certainly things have changed since. Yes, Bengali identity is a touchy subject for many, but there are certain generalisations that just don't fit. Yet as a humourous post, for the sake of a laugh, nice writing.

  5. Well , I like your Blog ..& Bengoli people will like it too...After two years sepnt in Kolkata , I must give my true facts from here ..
    1) PNPC may brighten or lighten your souls but it really affects other People a lot . Basically People here really dont have spine or anything . They are shameless about it . I know a guy in my office who really show a great affection to a female and called her "Didi" and treats her like his sister and with us he use all his PNPC power and describes her as a "Whore" . that's just one example ..
    2. For you people , you are bengolis to yourselves , cheers but other people are not Non Bengolis ..f** you ..other people are from different rich culture can be Punjabi , Rajsthani , Marathi etc.etc. are a just another dog in his own yard ...try to do these in other areas , and you'll hit a rock.

    3. Bengoli person is the 1st in line to ask for Fav.

    4. Yes offcourse you guys dont have Business mind because it requires smartness , discipline and you need to treat your customer a great respect ..

    5. Puja is great celebration here ..

    6. Bengoli people are not rebel at all , one can never be a rebel just to read novels or make some poetry actually have to get to ground and struggle for the issue change your last gov after 20 years worse rule ..common dont know what a rebellion is only had one true rabellion and that was great have bandh in alomst once in two months ..

    5. When you people meet some real rebellious personalities like Rajputs or Maratha or a Punjabi guy just backout from any confrontation , the one you started at first place ..and then all you can do is to find a corner with another bengoli person and do a PNPC..bwahhaha..

    6. Intellectuals , does not mean you just have to look like a have to be it ..

    7. Woman freedom lies only wihtin boundries of Kolkata city ..outside , there is a lot of Jungal raj and lot of Kangaru local Govts being run by gundas ..and it seems our sweet middle class bengoli does not care about the cancer that is feeding upon the west bengal..other states have problems too, but either people janta or govt is trying to do something about it just want to seat own your fat asses and wants to eat macchi bhat ..

    8. Well, after puja one more good point is , Bengoli woman are really a bold and beautiful , the X factor in them , you will never find in any other area interms of their charm , brains , boldness and the way they carry themselves ..

    9. Guys on the other hand really sucks , I came across very few guy persons who are actually cool ..Pnpc in here is not a girls thing any more , the guys have surpassed them already ..they dont have spines & they will lick every boss's ass to get next big thing ..Guys in here are real disgust of WB..

    10.Before coming to this city , I really had great notion of bongs ...but after spending two years ..this is the shittiest place to live if your not a people pleaser , you dont do pnpc or you have actual spine

    11. Bongs , you people really need a wakeup call...change the fucking way of your life ..dont get pride in pnpc , boss licking , no rebellious , no business mind and still finding pleauser in old treasuer of some greats attitude of yours ...well this kolkata city is still as it is when british had left ...


Random Thoughts and nothing else !


Happy Reading !