Conforming to the Non-Conformity!

Regrets? I've had a few, 
But then again, too few to mention. 
I did what I had to do 
And saw it through without exemption. 

I've lived a life that's full - 
I've travelled each and every highway. 
And more, much more than this, 

I did it my way. 

 – FRANK SINATRA.

Frank Sinatra is a Sagittarian. Oops! Before I get carried away by the Archer, let me come back to what I wish to write.

I totally agree to Aristotle’s words, “MAN IS A SOCIAL ANIMAL!” How can a person socially detach himself completely? At least I cannot imagine surviving in social isolation and confining myself to the four walls of any room, without anybody around, devoid of Cell phone and the Internet. It is in fact in my opinion, the height of austerity. Nevertheless, I would wish to modify the statement to “MAN IS A SOCIAL ROBOT!” and that is because you are on the verge of being socially excommunicated if you do not conform to the hypocritical standards that have been set by our patriarchal society.

One can go for as many plays as they wish to, but churning out a career on stage is something one should not dare to desire. And, the most ludicrous part is that the youngsters generally give in to these social expectations, ideals and norms in order to live happily in this society. Oh! But, are they happy after sacrificing their goals and being crushed lethally by expectations of people around them?

What made me write this is one of my most ambitious conversations till date with my best friend a few days back.

 The conversation was as follows:

Me: I would love to be a Pirate, if not a Hippie!

Sanchayan: What would you not love to be?

Me: A Conformist!

Sanchayan: Oh I See! All the best.

The words, “All the Best!” indeed sums up how difficult a task it is to rebel against the system and pursue the ultimate goal and passion. There dwells a fear of being tagged as a ‘Counter Cultural Element!’; a feeling of dread resides deep down the heart and it can be a threat to one’s existence itself. What if you are socially denounced?

Nevertheless, I guess being a non-conformist is certainly an honest way of living and indeed leading a more adventurous and challenging life than being a socially driven coward and following the milling crowd. Alright, now people might simply call me an eccentric or a free spirit. I would seriously revel in being called a free spirit. And, it seems highly ludicrous when being a non-conformist implies to taking drugs, experiencing psychedelic and hallucinogen enhanced trips, running away from house and comfortably staying aloof and secluding from every social ties. Now, I just cannot conform to this belief.

As far as my understanding goes, being a non-conformist simply means taking a firm stand regardless of what people around you feel or think. For instance, if my classmates find smoking ‘cool’ and drinking ‘hip’; that doesn’t mean I am supposed to feel the same way and embrace their ways. I do not have to follow the trend all the time, neither do I have to be any trendsetter. It’s just about having an opinion and sticking to it. Now, if everybody rushed to the cinema halls to watch Harry potter on the 19^th of this month, it does not in any way make it a compulsion for me to do the same act. I have no fascination about the much loved Potter fantasy and I am not scared to declare it openly either. That is my idea of being a non-conformist.

On a much personal level, almost everybody around me still cannot whole heartedly accept my decision of taking up photography professionally. But, will that stop me from following my dream? Ah! hell..no! Even if it takes hundreds of arguments, rather hearted arguments, I am up for them. Bring it on! Oh! Actually it is not too distant a dream anymore. Just another couple of years and I shall march towards my one and only serious passion fearlessly, against all odds.

I can vividly hallucinate everybody retorting, ‘Photography is not a profession for girls. Taking up Photography as a profession means staying away from home most of the time.’ Now, I have got used to hearing these statements every time I talk about following my passion. Nevertheless, when the time will come to take the final call, I shall march towards my dream without a speck of fear and be a non-conformist if that’s what everybody would love to call me then.

In a way, being termed as a non-conformist will even make me feel like a ‘hippie’ and indirectly, make my dream of becoming a hippie true too. Haha! Jokes apart, I just hope I do not succumb to the dogmatic doctrines of Society and live as I wish to. Cheers to the Non-conformists! (guess who is topping the list of the non-conformists? Who else except for My John Lennon…)

Alright, now Frank Sinatra has again invaded my thoughts and I would love to wrap this up with his words…

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew, 
When I bit off more than I could chew…

I've loved, I've laughed and cried, 
I've had my fill - my share of losing.

I faced it all and I stood tall 
And did it my way.

Redefining Jane Austen!

This write up stems from a three hour long discussion with my cousins which took place some months back. The talks started with the reasons for literature syllabus at the university level being confined mostly to the Victorian age consisting of Charles Dickens, Bronte sisters, Joseph Conrad; period of Romanticism covering Coleridge, Shelley, William Blake and Wordsworth and a small section on Modern Literature mainly dedicated to James Joyce, Auden and Earnest Hemmingway. As time passed and the discussion grew deeper, we figured out various other works of fiction which seriously demand recognition and are worth studying on a much serious level. Keeping everything aside, the section of literature which caught our attention was the one whose fate, quality and standard is highly debatable; the one which is simply not considered genuine literature by the critics. Yes! This very contemporary genre of fiction is popularly known as the Chick-Lit section. I strongly feel one finds its roots back during the Romanticism.

The question which remained unanswered even after debating and discussing for hours that night was what exactly is a chick-lit? In my not so intellectual understanding, chick-lit basically is any piece of fiction which humorously revolves around a dominating female protagonist and addresses her innumerable high-spirited romantic adventures and misadventures as well as deals with the myriad issues and problems she faces right from her teenage years till adulthood.

Now, when you club the above terms of ‘DOMINATING FEMALE PROTAGONIST’, ‘HUMOUR’, ‘ROMANTIC ADVENTURES AND MISADVENTURES’ together, don’t you immediately remember English Literature’s one of the most prolific female writers, who was indeed much ahead of her time and whose nib drew some of the best Historical Romances of all times? Yes! I am talking about none other than the creator of Elizabeth Bennet, Emma Woodhouse, Elinor Dashwood and Anne Elliot. Jane Austen, undoubtedly has defined classic romance through her works and perhaps is one of the most famous woman writers not only of her times but till date. Austen’s ‘Special Six’ which include ‘Pride and Prejudice’, ‘Emma’, ‘Persuasion’, ‘Mansfield Park’, ‘Sense and Sensibility’ and ‘Northanger Abbey’ at large, follow a similar pattern and peculiarly focus on certain issues. When one reads these novels, what stands out is the daring young woman’s journey into womanhood and the need for a wise marriage, with a unique exception found only in ‘Sense and Sensibility’. The portrayal of class distinction is prevalent throughout the six classics and the element of sensitivity ornamented with humor is felt in each of her works.

Over the past couple of decades, there have been numerous silver screen adaptations of Austen’s novels and contemporary writers have forever been inspired by her works and have pen pictured Emma and Mr.Darcy in their own literary ways. Starting from the much loved ‘Bridget Jone’s Diary’, ‘Amanda’ and not so popular ‘Lover’s vow’, ‘The Absentee’ and many more contemporary works have striking similarities with Jane Austen’s novels. Infact, every chick lit novel today has all the aspects which were reflected through Austen’s novel. Maybe the depth of brilliance in language has suffered and the use of profanity have increased by leaps and bounds, but ultimately the story remains very much the same.

So, why on Earth does the genre of chick lit not get the much deserved recognition as a part of literature? I strongly believe that discarding them from the realm of literature is way too harsh a treatment to be given to any piece of writing for that matter. In my honest opinion, Jane Austen is indeed the pioneer figure in establishing this genre and in fact has successfully as well as immaculately popularized it through her novels. She had written the novels in the eighteenth century thus, she theoretically qualifies as a Victorian age or a Romantic novelist but does she conform to the standards of either of them? Ah! No…  Victorians as well as Romantics believed in expressing strong emotions via the usage of color and sound in the writing. She was indeed one of the most subversive as well as rebellious writers of all times, in her own poignant ways. Hence, firstly, the critics should instead of glorifying the shallowness of the chick-lit novels and condemning the genre, must consider their roots and before commenting on or criticizing the modern day novels, must first notice the distinct parallels that can be easily drawn with the Jane Austen novels which are sheer classics, period.

Mrinalini,through my eyes!

“there is yet another kind of love, love where there is no expectation… love that sets you free…!”

Aparna Sen’s ‘Iti Mrinalini’ redefines silver screen brilliance in ways more than one and proves to be memorable forever because of innumerable reasons. But, first things first, I am not even remotely interested in giving away the details of the story because that is for you to unravel. Now, you must be wondering then what purpose does this article serve.

Ah! I am in awe of the movie and it’s been on my mind for too long now.  And, after pondering over it for weeks, I have decided to write something about the movie without revealing the story. Though, there are huge chances of failing miserably in this attempt of mine.

To begin with, people might wonder what is so unique about the film... Apart from being an Aparna Sen movie, there’s a lot more that the movie has in store for the audience. This time round, the director is not just the anchor of the movie but even the protagonist and is sharing screen space with her daughter, Konkona. Doesn’t this fact remind you of Rituporno Ghosh’s ‘Titli’? I would rather not write anything about ‘Titli’ for that is once again an impeccably beautiful piece of art and I can go on and on writing about it.

Now, the twist in the tale is that while in Titli, the real life mother and daughter portrayed inexplicably the sensitivities of a mother-daughter relationship on screen, here, they impersonate the same character but in different time periods. The story begins during the turbulent Naxalite Seventies in Calcutta and ends in today’s urban Kolkata.

Well, the movie does have many more undercurrents than what it presents with its face value. Watch for them!

‘Death’ helps the story sink wholly into you. It is not a mere death of an individual but the decease of one’s trust; demise of a stalwart; end of a career; dissolution of dreams and most importantly, complete annihilation of expectations!

The film guarantees you a new connection. Yes! By the time, the movie is about to end, you will find yourself emotionally connected to the central character and why not? After all, you will find a part of yourself in her. And, mark my words, you will be startled with the last scene and wish things would have ended differently.

On a much larger canvas, the film’s theme focuses on the arbitrariness of life. The story speaks volumes of the randomness of situations and the unexpected turn of events in our life, which are generally out of our control.

Celebrated auteur Aparna Sen has always been eminent for her emotional story telling without overdoing the drama. With ‘Iti Mrinalini’, she elevates sensitivity to a completely sublime level and transcends it beyond practicality. Who has not shed a tear while watching ‘36 Chowringhee Lane’, ‘15 Park Avenue’ or ‘Yugant’ for that matter? Similarly, do expect to find yourself in tears after leading Mrinalini’s life through 24 frames per second.

Yes! The film will deeply move you and let me tell you what will happen after you finish watching the film. You are definitely going to spend the next couple of days or maybe even more reminiscing every phase of your life and remembering every detail of it. There are chances of you even sitting with all your memorabilia and reliving every bit of your past. 

The bottomline of the film is that it will be a once in a lifetime cinematic experience, not worth missing, whatsoever.

Err…did I reveal any bit of the plot? I suppose no… so, here goes my understanding of the poignant Mrinalini without scrutinizing her part by part but, loving her as a whole.

A PART OF ME !

I have these spotless white sheets in front of me. Oh! I missed out those thin black lines on them. But, how does it matter whether these sheets are completely white or have the consistent appearance of black lines one below the other, as long as it is plain blank? Without any words on them, are these pages even worth a look? Ofcourse not! So, a page has only two distinct identities. It is either full of value or of no value. A word or two on its clean surface and it can invite hundreds of eyes else, somebody might just use it to erase the remnants of the previous lecture that comfortably rests on the blackboard.

So, what do I do in order to grab the attention of the curious minds towards my paper? I cannot dance on the blank sheet, neither can I croon my favorite song nor crack my best joke. All I can do is WRITE. Now, what do I write when my mind is nothing but a store of surplus absurdities? Random haphazard thoughts have been crowding me for days. The train of thought departs from a particular station in the present and derails to some unwanted destination in the buried past and ultimately arrives at a place, too far from the present. How can I write stuff with the clarity of thought almost invisible to be noticed?

It has been very rightly said that every piece of art always bears a part of its creator. A writer leaves a part of his life in his writing; a director involves some bit of personal experience in his movies and a painter camouflages his thoughts in disguise of the vibrant hues. And, it happens with every individual I believe. Moreover, it is often one of those journals of our lives which do not exist anymore that try to find an outlet through any form of art; be it literature or performing art. Atleast when I think of writing anything, unless it is a factual write up, personal experiences are the only resources I have with me to begin with.

But, is it always feasible to replicate the mirror images of slices from our lives? Aren’t some of the moments better left alone to reside in our hearts than to be publicized? Anyway, when we finally resort to dispersing these out in the open, we either change the names or better, do away with them; followed by inclusion of several other characters into the scene; entrusting them with roles they can carry off well and lastly some cautiously forethought filtration of details. But, no matter how brilliantly one masquerades the memories, the subliminal messages are any day louder than the explicit messages and there’s always that one individual who will impeccably decipher the inside story which better stayed repressed. After all, everybody has an irreversible regret, an irreparable mistake, an unreachable dream and an unspeakable secret. So, why even create the opportunity for an outsider to march into our most personal memories. It is like giving the liberty to those highly interested intruders to gently pry into our very own space.

Alright, so what was this article about? I am still blank and confused about how to start developing a thought into a full-fledged article. Well, even though, I may begin phrasing out my thoughts carefully, there are way too many thoughts in search of those right words which obviously will never succeed in their search. And, what about the much needed ‘END’? Abrupt! That is the only way I can define the endings of anything I write, rather every end seems to be abrupt. Oh! WHY AM I SURPRISED? Who plans the perfect endings? How on Earth is it ever possible for anybody to determine the exact moment, things should expire? And, is it just about things? I mean nobody begins anything in life in order to end it. So, the ending always has to be as brusque as possible and yes! Completely unexpected. Oh! So I can see that this write up has lost its way and I have no road map, rather mind map to bring myself to the point where it all commenced from. So, I guess I shall now board another train of thought from a brand new terminus and travel from one land to another, full of myriad images.

BIZZARE, AFTER SO LONG!

So did I ask you for anything ?

I am sure, I didn't.

Or did I expect a bit ?

Oh! No. Never.

Then, from where does this rift arise?

Why a feeling of sad demise?

The line; too distinct; it was drawn,

The rains didn't wash away, neither did it disappear by any storm.

O October! Why be so fateful?

A want so eerie, a wish so wistful.

Oh! Do not fear thee,

Like yesterday, it will never be.

A step or two, I did walk too much,

Still I didn't let the past with my present, merge.

I cannot lie, I put forth the truth,

I waited and waited, nothing helped the wait dilute.

In front of the mirror, now I question myself,

what book of expectations did reappear on the shelf?

From where on Earth did it return?

I go solemnly blank as I try to discern.

So, what do you suggest is needed?

Another long summer, another spell of rain?

I know nothing will suffice anymore,

to demolish the wall between my heart and brain!

No entry, yes! No entry for you,

No right you possess to reduce my laughter to smiles too few.

No room, anymore empty to again let you in,

Thus, I breath a sigh of relief, without an evil grin.

3 DECADES GONE, ‘THE WALRUS’ LIVES ON!

Those Childhood Days:

(Teacher: “John, You are Going Nowhere!” John: “Is Nowhere a place for the geniuses, Sir? Then I Probably belong there!”)

70 long years ago, Liverpool witnessed the birth of a mischievous lad who was ordinary in the eyes of every commoner but from within, was a LEGEND in the making. Always up for mischief and popular for his incorrigible ways, this kid possessed an uncanny knack of sketching and versifying at the tender age of 10. He was known as the ‘Happy Go Lucky’ chap who casted a spell with his charmingly appealing smile and got everything he wished for except for his Mother’s Love who abandoned him when he was just five years old. Nevertheless, his Aunt Mimi gave him the love more than his Mother could ever have given him.

Mother Lost, Singer Found:
(“Mother, you had me, but I never had you…I needed you but you didn’t need me”)

His Mother entered his life once again when he was 12years old. She taught him Banjo and bought the first guitar for him. But, his mother passed away in an accident when he was just 17 and he lost her again and this time, forever. This incident had a deep traumatic effect on him and he went on to composing numerous songs for her. He was profoundly influenced by Elvis and his Music. He started his first skiffle band, ‘The Quarrymen’ where he made some wonderful friends like Paul McCartney and George Harrison. (“Nothing really affected me until I heard Elvis.”)

The Silver Beatles to The Beatles: 
(“What’s your message for American teenagers? “Our Message is…buy some more Beatle Records”)

And, the kid is now an adult and already a star! The musical journey that started with Quarrymen, now had a completely new line up. Here’s presenting to you: THE BEATLES with the funny guy drumming, Ringo Starr, the cute guy singing, Paul MCcartney, the serious boy strumming, George Harrison and the smartest one penning and crooning, JOHN LENNON. This was the phase where these Fav Four climbed the ladder of success with every song they composed and soon were at the pinnacle of glory. There was no stopping them and no looking back either. Soon, the world seemed to be a mere spectator of the growing Beatlemania. In 1964, they invaded the USA and created sheer hysteria among the crowds. Nevertheless, Lennon was the most outspoken and the controversial of them all. Thus, he earned the title of “THE MISUNDERSTOOD BEATLE”.(“I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity!”)

The Break Up:

 (“I am not the Beatles. I'm me. Paul isn't the Beatles...The Beatles are the Beatles. Separately, they are separate.”)

Each member’s artistic vision conflicted with each other and thus came the split in Music History’s one of the most influential groups. The Beatles were no more The Beatles. After the divide, Ringo and George almost vanished while Paul McCartney and John Lennon ruled as individual artists.

Lennon after the Beatles: 
(“Give Peace a chance”)

Lennon with his wife, Yoko Ono, immersed wholly in political activities. They were synonymous with Political Activism and Peace Movements. Lennon employed outright honesty and straightforwardness in his speech and chose his Music as the outlet for his anger towards the high-profile political figures who were real life epitomes of corruption. He acquired an Iconic Status among the old and the young during the turbulent period of the late sixties. But, as usual, he was Controversy’s favorite child and this time the issue was much graver. The then president, Richard Nixon was aggravated by Lennon's Anti-war demonstrations because he felt that would earn him a failure in his presidential campaign. Nixon ordered Lennon to be deported and held serious charges against him, which were successfully cleared three years later. But, nothing stopped Lennon from creating an impact on people’s minds and hearts. He resonates even today…three decades after his assassination.

 (“I've had enough of reading things, by neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians, All I want is the truth…”)

ASSASSINATION AND LEGACY:

“Listen, if anything happens to Yoko and me, it was not an accident.”

8th December, 1980: The Music Dies! 

Mark Chapman, a crazy fan in Jet Black attire waited for days outside Lennon’s Residence, Dakota and on the end of the fourth day, when Lennon returned with Yoko Ono from yet another recording session, the man shot four bullets and Lennon took his last breath on his way to the hospital. The entire world mourned his death for days, weeks and months. The grief was of an unprecedented scale and millions of fans gathered for the ten minutes of silence that was observed the following day.John Lennon was revolution personified and was a product of the Swinging Sixties. But, the Eighties didn’t mark his end when he slept forever for his Words and Works are still very much alive and they resonate louder with every passing year. If he would have lived, the world would have been celebrating his 70th Birthday with him, probably singing some of his favorite numbers. Here, this post of mine is a mere tribute to the TRUE GENIUS who imparted lessons of Peace to the world when everybody was busy experimenting with Violence.

(“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that... I believe in what I do, and I'll say it. ”)

Happy birthday to 'The Walrus', JOHN LENNON!

Wishes and Dreams, Some Beyond Reach!

My Dear Readers,

Before you reach the heart of this post, I want to make one thing very clear.

I have not yet watched 'Anjaana Anjaani' and this post was under construction over the last few months and it's finally ready. So, it was not the disastrous Rom-Com's aftermath. 

(P.S:Watch the movie for its Songs as well as Ranbir's debonair looks! He is a true charmer.)

Coming back to this post, I am a born dreamer and when I say a 'Dreamer' , I do not mean a dreamer who dreams easily achievable things. My dreams are always Larger Than Life. In the simplest words, I DREAM ONLY BIG ! And, keeping that in mind, when I sat down to pen down my Bucket List, I figured out more than I ever thought I would. But, never mind, when it's MY BUCKET LIST, you must expect such crazy list items. :P Afterall, I truly believe in 'LIVING LIFE KING SIZE..!' What a male chauvinistic phrase that is..! So, I would rather put it this way - "I ENJOY LIVING LIFE, QUEEN SIZE!" Sounds much more sane! :P

Now, moving on to my wish list, there's one more thing to be noted. That is, when you read the list, do not just read it but keep in mind because you can save your money from now on and gift me one or the other listed item for my coming birthdays.

So, here goes MY TREASURED BUCKET-LIST: (Saving the best for the last..so, read till the end!)

- Own an enormous collection of ORIGINAL FOUNTAIN PENS: Oh My God! THEY ARE SO ELEGANT and, it makes me feel like an intellectual when i use a fountain pen for signing or writing. 

- Own a collection of signature Perfumes: Preferably the antique ones with the likes of Coco Chanel, Yardley & Caron..and the list is endless.

- Own a JET BLACK 'Volkswagen Beetle' car: The Older, the better! Infact, even if the steering wheel doesn't work or the tyres cannot be replaced, never mind, I simply wish to have one parked outside my house. 

- Own an 'AGED' Grand Piano: 2nd, 3rd, 4th or even a 5th hand one will do. But, it should belong to the imperial British Raj days!

- Have a ceiling height wallpaper of John Lennon on one of the four walls in my room: Oh my god! am already imagining one! 

- Wish for a truly vintage WINE collection, straight from the French Vineyards, which will grow better with time and be the best by the time I close my eyes as I am neither going to consume them nor let anybody else taste them.

- Wish to visit the Unique Book Fair of our country...atleast once. The Yearly Kolkata Boi Mela (The Calcutta Book Fair)

- Wish to hold my Portrait Photography Exhibition : This is simply because I am just too horrible when it comes to Portrait Photography and yes! I have acquired a bad reputation for clicking photographs wherein apparently, I make all my friends appear fat and ugly. Hence, I have taken up this challenge to prove them wrong and, the name of the exhibition is going to be 'THE FACES'. 

- Wish to attend the National Film Awards ceremony: Oh My ! I will get to see the intellectual cream of the film industry. (Am already dreaming about a start studded evening..mostly hailing from the Cultural Capital of INDIA- Bengal. Sorry! I tend to get pompous and end up being a chauvinist! Can't forget my Creative Writing Prof's comment on my Poem addressing me as Miss Bong ! :P)

- Enjoy a 3 month long vacation in Goa...all alone to myself, reminiscing the best days of life... (preferably during my last days...)

- Learn to play the guitar chords properly.

Now, the most important ones:

- Visit KOLKATA during DURGA PUJA.

- Celebrate one of my birthdays during my 30s or 40s... with the very very few people who know me or understand me the best.

- Trip to France: That's like my One Big Dream ! If anybody asks me which country should be made the world capital for Culture, Art and Literature; without any second thoughts I will vote for France.

  I have already planned the Itinerary for the trip:

  * The Musée du Louvre (Grand Louvre Museum!) 

  * Spend a night watching the glorious Eiffel ! 

  * The picturesque French Riviera.

  * Evening strolls at the shady boulevards of Paris.

  * Cannes (hopefully get a glimpse of the Cannes Film Festival)

  * Notre Dame Cathedral. Want to feel the gothic ambience there.

  * The Stellar architectures of Chateau de Versailles. The grand vestige of the French Monarchy.

  * And, hope to wrap up the trip with an extremely long drive through the breathtaking landscapes of the Alps.

And, with this, ends my Bucket List. Instead of calling it the Bucket List, I guess I can even call it the "Extravagant ways of Material Drain". :P Anyway, It's just a Wish list and Wishes need not always be true though, it feels great when they are a part of our reality. So, here I conclude this list of mine, with fingers crossed and maybe when I take my last breath, my fingers stay crossed even then.

ALWAYS DREAM BIG, RATHER THE BIGGEST DREAMS...in that way, even if the Biggest ones are not fulfilled, the BIG ones surely will be true.